I’ve been thinking a lot about crying. At the beginning of a session here, many clients sit on the comfy chair in my clinic studio space, feel the care present and start crying right away. That’s when I take a slow breath and sit quietly with their grief. I want them to know I’m here with them.
Most apologize for crying. I always let them know this is a space to cry, if that’s what the intelligence of the body is bringing forth.
Tears are welcome here.
The idea that crying is a weakness is a strange phenomenon in our culture. Turning towards feeling pain requires inherent courage. It’s no wonder Chinese Medicine’s Five-Element theory sees the lungs as simultaneously carrying grief and courage.
When the dampness from tears is released, the heart’s fire can burn more brightly.
“Grief expressed out loud, whether in or out of character, unchoreographed and honest, for someone we have lost, or a country or home we have lost, is in itself the greatest praise we could ever give them. Grief is praise, because it is the natural way love honors what it misses.”
― Martin Prechtel, The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise
I notice in myself that when I’m not up to date on my crying, frustration builds until it reaches the eventual breaking point of tears. I always feel more at home in myself afterward. Everyone has a different rhythm with grief and some folks rarely cry.
Crying offers countless physical, emotional, and psychological benefits.
Incredibly, emotional tears contain stress hormones and other toxins that are released through crying. Crying also initiates the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, which can help both soothe emotional and physical pain. Crying often reduces tension and stress, helping people fall asleep more easily and experience deeper rest.
For those feeling numb, blocked, or stuck, crying can melt emotional freezing and help restore a sense of feeling, especially if unresolved emotions or trauma are being unearthed.
Releasing old pain offers space for new growth. Crying can lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), helping decrease stress and returning the body to a state of balance. Giving yourself permission to feel and express emotions through crying also builds emotional awareness and resilience too. Post-crying mood improvements often follow the relief of releasing emotional and mental pressure.
Crying is as healthy and natural as rain. If it feels like too much or becomes overwhelming, consider reaching out to a loved one, spending time in nature, sitting with a tree, looking at water, moving your body or getting creative in response to your feelings. You might also want to seek professional support from someone recommended to you by someone you trust.
Beautifully, we cry in joy too. Both crying and laughing are powerful tools for overall wellness and provide a natural reset button for the mind and heart. There is no denying the complexity of these times and the dynamic challenges we face individually and collectively in the dominant culture of late-stage capitalism.
May your heartbreak and anger be fuel to take right action for love’s sake.
May you gently feel and release your grief and tears, that are waiting for liberation from locked places within.
May moments of appreciating beauty in small and simple ways feed your mind and heart.
May your eyes and imagination follow the flight of free-flying birds.
May you laugh heartily in response to what’s hilarious.
May you feel your body entirely held by the enormous Earth.
Thank you to everyone who has come for sessions with me, in-person and online, and supported my little business here on Malcolm Island. It’s been an honour to get to know each of you and serve the community in this way.